


Detention Block Tango

by suckersoprano



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Androids, Androids, Death Row, Gen, Murder, One Shot, Prison, Short, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-19
Updated: 2012-04-19
Packaged: 2017-11-03 22:31:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckersoprano/pseuds/suckersoprano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six androids sit and wait to be scrapped, accused of the same crime. Before they get incinerated, they share their stories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Detention Block Tango

Six androids sat in a circle, staring at one another, each looking varying degrees of angry, pissed off, and downright feral. Android detention hall wasn’t a place people or androids really wanted to be, but here they were, telling everyone in the room exactly what kind of company they were keeping. They were all murderous androids, sentenced here because they’d done _something_ so depraved that they were sent here _forever_.

“Whatcha in for, Giggles?” the green eyed one said with a smirk to the snarling red-eyed one next to him.

‘Emotion, type 2.0’ was printed neatly on the front of his jumpsuit, though the rest of it was dirtied and old, “Fucker didn’t stop chewin’ his gum,” he snapped, a vein bulging in his neck, “Gave him a warning tap right to the skull.”

The room was suddenly unsettled with the sound of gears shifting and servos and voice modulators starting back up. A dark blue android suddenly shifted nearer to the center of the room, marked ‘Logic, type 2.0.’

“My creator told me that I was the only android he’d worked on. I found out he lied. He found out that it is not wise for a human to consume fiberglass resin,” he stated in a flat monotone.

“They wouldn’t stop calling me _moron, moron, moron_ ,” a lighter blue core suddenly piped up from the corner, clutching his head with pain, marked ‘Intelligence Dampening 2.4,’ “I told them to stop, I told them I wasn’t a moron, but they didn’t stop until they fell into the spike plate, they fell into it, all of them, ten times!”

All eyes fell on the sole silent core, a purple eyed android with a calm demeanor, her jumpsuit said Morality 4.0; someone spoke up for her, the green eyed android with ‘Adventure 1.5’ on his jumpsuit, “I heard that one went’n told some scientist not t’put some shit together n’it _exploded_.”

“Inquiry: Did she do it?” a pink android asked from the sidelines.

The purple eyed android shot a look at the speaker and sharply shook her head. It was clear her answer.

“N’what about you, Pinky?” Adventure drawled.

The pink-eyed android stood up and brushed off his jumpsuit that read ‘Fact 1.5’ similar to the others,“Fact: It is commonly known that the Fact Core is superior to all cores in all ways, processing, memory, connection speed, knowledge. Every single aspect of the Fact Core’s existence is meant to outshine yours. Fact: The Fact Core does not appreciate being scrapped, he does not appreciate being scrapped so much that he blacked out and does not remember what happened to his developer until he washed the blood of off his jumpsuit.”

All eyes fell on the instigator of this conversation, the green suited Adventure Core. He grinned at the lot and leaned back, twining his fingers behind his head.

“Well, I’ll tell ya, I’m somethin’ of a ladies’ man, but I ain’t no sucker, y’see? This pretty little thing went all out flirtin’ with me, tellin’ me all kinds of bullshit about bein’ th’only guy she’s seein’. Pretty little scientists think they kin go’n say whatever they want to’n android, right? Found out she’s th’office flirt, goin’ round, screwin’ other guys, _real_ guys, she said. S’too bad, she was real beautiful. ‘M pretty sure she looked _real_ good at her funeral, too,” he said, sounding smugly satisfied with himself.

The whole crowd began talking all at once until a buzzer sounded, and a door opened up, “PLEASE PROCEED TO ANDROID HELL,” the voice called and suddenly they were all silent, they could feel the heat even being inorganic. They all stood and walked into their fate without a trace of regret.


End file.
